


Is It?

by TunaaBabee



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (There is no actual bodily harm inflicted upon oneself.), F/M, Humanstuck, TW: Self-Harm Mention, TW: Suicide Mention, tw: implied abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 15:13:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3451856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TunaaBabee/pseuds/TunaaBabee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Terezi Pyrope, and you're lucky to have Karkat Vantas by your side to pick up your broken pieces and help put you back together again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is It?

You hadn’t really been good at making friends when you were little. It was only when you noticed someone as lonely as you, standing awkwardly in the middle of the playground did you go up and ask if he wanted to play pretend with you. You said that you could be the lawyer and he could be the executioner. He grumbled at first, mumbling something to himself. He walked away, but you were left determined as ever to get this boy who was just as lonesome as you were to play with you. It was three long days of poking and prodding and pleading and asking and whining before he gave in. Is it coincidence that you two had stayed friends since? You didn’t care.

You hadn’t exactly had a crush on anyone before, so when you started wanting to spend more and more time with him than usual, you were incredibly grumbly about the topic whenever anybody brought it up. You tried to hint at it when it was just you two, but you didn’t bother too much – it’s middle school, there wasn’t any reason to bother dating. One day, you were watching a movie at his house and you kissed him before you stepped into your own house after walking you home. Is it too direct? Probably. You didn’t care. He grumbled about it with a red face as he walked home. The two of you never spoke of it or your obvious crush on him again. You got the message after a few days and tried to forget about it.

High school was a very bad time for you. It didn’t start off that way. You two were still as close as ever. You had neglected to tell him that you had gotten a boyfriend a few weeks into the first term, so when you and Dave had walked down the halls together hand in hand and ran into him, you smiled and had a brief talk before you two were on your way. Is it weird that you thought you saw his face fall before he smiled back at you? Yeah, you’re probably just overthinking it. The relationship was a fleeting, meaningless one and you didn’t look back.

Things… weren’t the greatest at home. You weren’t being abused or anything, but for no real reason, you began to get unreasonably antsy. More introverted. You were still close with him, but your behaviour didn’t go unnoticed. He started coming over more to try and cheer you up, to no avail. You felt as if, regardless of all your achievements and how much you tried in school and at home, that you couldn’t be what your mother and everyone else wanted and that you were just awful and a disgrace. _Nothing_ but a _loser_. You cried behind closed doors often. While you knew that this kind of thinking was bad and this awful, empty, hollow and numb feeling inside wasn’t normal, you didn’t tell anyone. They’d just hate you, invalidate you just like your mom did sometimes. You swore never to physically hurt yourself or to kill yourself regardless of the mental anguish when you started feeling like this. You got involved with Gamzee shortly after. While it was short-lived, he brought out all the physical pain you tried your hardest to never inflict. Is it weird that when you started calling yourself these hurtful, awful names to other people or when you accidentally hurt yourself that you thought you deserved it? No, not at all. It was just the way you lived. It was normal. Despite having him and your other friends, you still felt alone.

You hadn’t left the house for the past week, faking you were sick. Really, you were just crying and blankly staring at walls as you sat on your bed. He came into your room in the middle of the school day after skipping class – he wasn’t stupid and he knew that you weren’t sick. He asked you what was wrong a few times and you refused to tell him before you ended up in a sobbing, broken mess on the floor and in his arms, telling him everything – how awful you’ve been feeling, how you haven’t been physically harming yourself but you still mentally hurt yourself every day and how you just had this constant hollow feeling where you didn’t wanna kill yourself because it would be selfish, yet you still wanted to die. He somehow managed to calm you down, telling you that you’d be okay and he’d be there for you and that you never needed to feel like that again. You looked up at him and asked him if he meant it before, all of a sudden, you found his lips on yours. It was messy and awful, but you appreciated it and kissed him back nonetheless. He smiled and stayed there with you for the rest of the day, making sure you knew it was okay and that he loved you until you smiled and told him you loved him back. Is it strange that you were both so oblivious to each other until then? Not really.

Your name is Terezi Pyrope, and you’re lucky to have Karkat Vantas by your side to help pick up your broken pieces and put you back together again.

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic on here, please enjoy! I might make a full length work out of this, I dunno yet.


End file.
